Thursday, February 5, 2009

Thursday's special is...WOOF!

WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty by Diana Black, Mary Cunningham, Melinda Richarz Bailey

No map to guide you through the "joys" of middle age? Join three witty, savvy, resourceful women as we chart our own course. Yep! You’re invited! As you romp through issues of expanding waistlines, deepening wrinkles, empty nests and muddled memories, we promise you’ll find good things to bark about!

Mary says...

My WOOFer name is 'Milkbone'. You may, (or may not) be wondering...Hey! What's with the names?

The acronym for “Women Only Over Fifty” is WOOF. We use canine terms and analogies in stories and chapter titles, such as, Are We Barking Up the Wrong Tree? Purebred Potpourri and Over Fifty Tailwaggers.

In the process, the natural evolution was to give ourselves dog names. Diana’s is d.d. dawg (lower case, puh-leeeze!) and Melinda is known as Mad Dog. No clue why ‘cause she doesn’t have a mean bone in her body. And my name, Milkbone, comes from one of my favorite expressions. It’s a dog-eat-dog world and I’m wearing milkbone underwear.

From Faux Paws, Over Fifty Tailwaggers, to How to Dress the Mature Mutt, WOOF is all about the joys of aging! How 50 is the new 30! Whatever!

Some Faux Paws to enjoy (whether you’re over fifty or not!)

WOOFers have discovered that as we age we often find ourselves in very awkward and socially unacceptable situations. We've gathered a few No-No’s.

  • A FAUX PAW is christening your friend’s new beige sofa with an entire glass of RED wine.
  • A FAUX PAW is leaving a public ladies room with the paper seat protector stuck to your shoe.
  • A FAUX PAW is dancing the Twist at your granddaughter’s 10th birthday party.
  • A FAUX PAW is asking a friend who normally wears jeans and a sweatshirt, “Hey, what’s with the dress? Did you just come from a funeral?” and hear her answer, “Yes.”
Or, maybe limericks are more your style.

Now that I’m in middle age
I must say I’ve noticed some change.
My waist has expanded.
My eyebrows disbanded.
And I have a much lower “backstage.”

Looking for diet tips? Woof’s got ‘em!

The Saturn Diet

Enough already with "Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus!” Give me a break.
I wanna be from Saturn! What? You haven't heard the latest?

Saturn is denser than Earth. Therefore, a 150-pound woman would only weigh 135! Whoo-hoo! Bring back my 1980s closet. I dream of zipping up those size 8 Liz Claiborne jeans. Slipping on my L. L. Bean cargo shorts and tank top. Oh, and my two-piece bathing suit! How great would it be to slowly remove my beach robe and not have to sprint Olympic-style into the pool. Instead, I could proudly stroll, sit on the edge, and gracefully slink into the water without fear of being mistaken for a beached whale.

Okay…where do you buy tickets for the space shuttle?

Hair Insanity, Dispelling the Chocolate Myth, plus our own WOOFers Restaurant menu and Theme Park, are just a few chapters you’ll enjoy in WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty. Check out our blog, too!

Order from Amazon or Echelon Press

Mary Cunningham is also the author of the Cynthia’s Attic Young Reader Mystery Series.

More about Mary

Born and raised in Southern Indiana, I now live in the mountains of West Georgia with my husband. We're the parents of three creative (grown) children, and a delightfully witty sixteen-year-old granddaughter. I began writing poetry (not good!) at an early age, and then moved on to memoirs. Besides my fantasy series, Cynthia’s Attic, and WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty, in my spare time I’m working on an adult mystery and a young adult time-travel novel.

When not chained to my computer, I enjoy playing golf, swimming, taking walks and pi-routin'. Not sure that's spelled right, but it's Cajun for wandering about, taking in the sights without a specific itinerary.


Award yourself a WOOF-y nickname and explain the thinking behind your choice. (Ignore the fact that you may not necessarily be a woman and/or over 50).

Mary's favourite will win a copy of WOOF: Women Only Over 50. (If you are not a woman over 50, then it makes a great gift - or it might help you understand your Mom/Grandma/wife better!)


Chris Eldin said...

YAY!!!! I've been waiting for this roast!

Good morning everyone, I've known Mary for a couple of years, and happen to know first-hand how great a writer and person she is.

Drop by and chit-chat! She's the Queen of Talk!


Chris V said...

Too fun! Hey I'm gonna rename myself Diamond Dawg. Nope don't have no diamonds; figure maybe that'll change things.haaa!

Mary Cunningham said...

Thanks, Chris! Aw're pretty cool, too. And, a super writer. You just need to come out of your shell...LOL!

Can't wait to hear some new WOOFer names! Where's yours Chris? Even though it will be DECADES before you need it!

Mary Cunningham said...

Love your style, Chris V! May you find a bowl-full of diamonds in your food dish!

Chris Eldin said...

Oh, the name!
Drama Mama
'cause of the Things...

Diana Black said...

So, is it gettin' hot over there, Milkbone?!?!

Don't forget to turn now and then!


Mary Cunningham said...

Drama Mama? Great name, Chris, but doesn't sound "doggie." What about Dog Ma? (hope I didn't steal anyone's name!)

Hey, d.d. dawg. Why don't you join me on the spit. It's kinda warm, but the marinade is yummy!

Regan Black said...

Aw, Mary. If fifty's the new 30, does that mean I have to be 20 something again? I wouldn't mind the cuter jeans, but no thanks on repeating the rest.


Diana Black said...

Hey, Regan, I hear ya!

Going back for cute jeans, not thinking that works for me...

Now if chocolate was only allowed to the younger set, I'd hop the nearest time travel machine!


jason evans said...

I'm not a woman over 50, but suddenly I find myself kind of wanting to be.... WOOF! The cool crowd.

Welcome to Book Roast Mary!!

Mary Cunningham said...

I'm with ya, Regan. If only we could have our 20-30-something bodies and know what we know now! (huh?)

So glad you stopped in, Jason! WOOF is going to have to figure out how to get men involved. Somehow, MOOF just doesn't work.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Will have to come up with something for the men that fits with MEOW.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Men Eyeing Older Women?

Mary Cunningham said...

MEOW - The sequel!!

Diana Black said...

Men ENVYING Older Women!


Charles Gramlich said...

Love the Faux Paws. Eek.

Mary Cunningham said...

Thanks, Charles! Where's your WOOF name? Men are eligible, too. Surely you know a woman, somewhere who's over 50.

Eileen Williams said...

I was thinking of calling myself "will do tricks for food," but realized I might be sending an entirely different message than intended. So I'm thinking of "old bones--still worth drooling over and not yet ready to bury in the dirt." It's a bit long but it's got me lifting my leg with glee!

Mary Cunningham said...

Could shorten it to "Old Bones," Eileen, but it doesn't seem to fit.

With your positive, youthful attitude, there's nothing OLD about you!

Regan Black said...

Love the MEOW!


Word said...

Hi Mary!!

I am now Doo Doo. As in doggy doo doo. Why?

Well, it's easy to remember for one.

For two - if someone steps on me, they will not soon forget it.

Glad to see you out on the Roast Mary!! I'll pop back in later, but wanted to send my best wishes quickly before I head back to work.

Chumplet - Sandra Cormier said...

I think the name Sandy has already been taken by countless pups already, so I have to think of something different. I'm a few months shy of 50, so this book would be for me!

Considering the state of my eyebrows lately, I could pick the name "Shaggy." However, if I plucked the ones that are turning white, I'd end up with the name "Baldy."

Mary Cunningham said...

Shaggy Dog? Baldy Dog? Must admit, I'm leaning toward Shaggy.

We mention in WOOF about how, at this age, hair seems to grow in ALL THE WRONG PLACES! And, it's gray!

Sorry guys. I know that's not an image you want to picture.

However, my husband also says that he can look in the mirror and watch his ear hair grow! YIKES!

Mary Cunningham said...

HAHAHA, Word! Leave it to you to come up with a classic!

But, I can't imagine anyone wanting to step on you.

darbyscloset said...

Okay since I see someone already nabbed "Drama Queen", I'll take "Princess", aka: Princess WOOF!
What fun!
darbyscloset at yahoo dot com

Shona Snowden said...

Hi doggies! Everyone gets to pick a name, man, woman, child, adult - you can save it for later (or the sex change).

I haven't thought of one yet, but I'll be back later...

Word said...

Ha ha!

You'd be amazed how many corporate dawgs try to step on me. I generally get a good ankle nip in though!! And now with my new name, they'll get a little something extra eh?

It truly is a dawg eat dawg world.

Love the convo about hair.

All I can say is : Thank God for tweezers! Nobody's ever gotta know...know what I mean?

Mary Cunningham said...

Hi, uh Princess WOOF. Thanks for stopping by.

You, too, Shona!

Word, dawg-eat-dawg world is my motto, too. (I'm the one with the milkbone underwear). Glad YOU enjoyed the hair talk.

Chumplet - Sandra Cormier said...

The problem with tweezing the white hairs is that when you have nothing left, you have to pencil in the eyebrows. Yikes!

Word said...

Oooo. Penciled in very 60's...or is that 70's?

I had an aunt who tweezed them all out and then drew them in with an unnaturally high arch. It went very well with the bouffant hair-do.


McKoala said...

I pulled out my only white eyebrow this morning. Of course, it was right in the middle. I've been wondering about doing it for months.

So I did. And you know what, the world didn't end. Nor did I turn into Elle McPherson.

Shona Snowden said...

I've been thinking and thinking, but I'm having a slow brain day and I can't think of anything, so perhaps:

Dog of Little Brain

However, my kids have dog names - playing puppies was one of their favourite things a few years ago and the names have hung on, as extra nicknames. My son is 'Yapster', because at the time he didn't stop talking, and my daughter was 'Snufster', because of her endering habit of snuffling into your neck when you picked her up (less endearing when she had a cold, but nevertheless).

I am not yet 50, but I'd like to know if there is anything I can do in preparation?!

Mary Cunningham said...

I have one white hair in my left eyebrow. Been trying to get it for months. I've tweezed every dark brown hair around it. Still there.

Oh, those penciled in eyebrows! Scary!!

Mary Cunningham said...

Dear "Dog of Little Brain." Is there anything you can do to prepare for 50?

Develop your sense of humor. You're gonna need it!

Oh, and read our blog regularly!

Shona Snowden said...

The end is coming...any more dog names out there...think fast...

Chris Eldin said...

These names are hysterical!!! I don't know how Mary's going to pick a favorite....

Mary Cunningham said...

Oh, do I have to pick?? Too many funny names.

Should I decide tonight, or can I sleep on it?

Shona Snowden said...

Mary needs her basket time!

My dog has a night light...not pampered at all...

If you're still up, tonight would be good, but if not, snooze well and we'll see you tomorrow.

Mary Cunningham said...

Fine WOOFer names...all! Doo Doo (Word) made me laugh the most, but gotta give a nod to Eileen and her
"old bones--still worth drooling over and not yet ready to bury in the dirt."

A long, but thoughtful name.

Woof on, Eileen!

And, thanks again, Book Roast for being such a great host! It's been a lot of fun!

Night y'all!

©DGreer said...

I'm kind of a cat person, but how about Grrr since cats and dawgs both are known to do that. Well, and women of a certain age, too, for that matter.

Thanks for a grrrreat post.


Shona Snowden said...

Thank you Mary - great choice! Thank you for a fun day.

Congrats Eileen - please contact Mary and she will organise your prize book.

laughingwolf said...

bad week for me, mary and chris...

as for a name, many call me the wuffster ;) lol

my site is called paws and reflect, along with loopy lair...

and no, i'm not female :O

grats eileen...

patricia harman said...

Hi Chris and Mary. Ok, how dumb do you have to be to not be able to remember your password for a web site that doesn't even have passwords. I spent 30 minutes trying to figure it out....I don't even want to go there. I am the author of The Blue Cotton Gown: A Midwife's Memoir. It is a book, about women in trouble, their courage, their healing. It is also about my husband, Dr. Tom, a gentle gynecologist and surgeon who used to be a hippie and me, the midwife, our family and our struggling OB/Gyn Women's Health Center. You would like it. OK, so I got the hang of it now. Should I shut up...or go on and on. Anything else I need to know or do, Chris? Did you get all the info about the book that you need Chris? All the best to you Mary and your co-authors.

Chris Eldin said...

YAY! Patricia---I'm glad you're here. I think now that you have the hang of it, blogging can be addictive (especially for writers). It's a great way of connecting with others.

Mary Cunningham said...

Sorry you've had a bad week, laughing wolf. Hope it gets better, but thanks for stopping by!

Nice to meet you, Patricia. Will look forward to hearing more about your book.