WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty by Diana Black, Mary Cunningham, Melinda Richarz Bailey
No map to guide you through the "joys" of middle age? Join three witty, savvy, resourceful women as we chart our own course. Yep! You’re invited! As you romp through issues of expanding waistlines, deepening wrinkles, empty nests and muddled memories, we promise you’ll find good things to bark about!
My WOOFer name is 'Milkbone'. You may, (or may not) be wondering...Hey! What's with the names?
The acronym for “Women Only Over Fifty” is WOOF. We use canine terms and analogies in stories and chapter titles, such as, Are We Barking Up the Wrong Tree? Purebred Potpourri and Over Fifty Tailwaggers.
In the process, the natural evolution was to give ourselves dog names. Diana’s is d.d. dawg (lower case, puh-leeeze!) and Melinda is known as Mad Dog. No clue why ‘cause she doesn’t have a mean bone in her body. And my name, Milkbone, comes from one of my favorite expressions. It’s a dog-eat-dog world and I’m wearing milkbone underwear.
From Faux Paws, Over Fifty Tailwaggers, to How to Dress the Mature Mutt, WOOF is all about the joys of aging! How 50 is the new 30! Whatever!
Some Faux Paws to enjoy (whether you’re over fifty or not!)
WOOFers have discovered that as we age we often find ourselves in very awkward and socially unacceptable situations. We've gathered a few No-No’s.
- A FAUX PAW is christening your friend’s new beige sofa with an entire glass of RED wine.
- A FAUX PAW is leaving a public ladies room with the paper seat protector stuck to your shoe.
- A FAUX PAW is dancing the Twist at your granddaughter’s 10th birthday party.
- A FAUX PAW is asking a friend who normally wears jeans and a sweatshirt, “Hey, what’s with the dress? Did you just come from a funeral?” and hear her answer, “Yes.”
Now that I’m in middle age
I must say I’ve noticed some change.
My waist has expanded.
My eyebrows disbanded.
And I have a much lower “backstage.”
Looking for diet tips? Woof’s got ‘em!
The Saturn Diet
Enough already with "Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus!” Give me a break.
I wanna be from Saturn! What? You haven't heard the latest?
Saturn is denser than Earth. Therefore, a 150-pound woman would only weigh 135! Whoo-hoo! Bring back my 1980s closet. I dream of zipping up those size 8 Liz Claiborne jeans. Slipping on my L. L. Bean cargo shorts and tank top. Oh, and my two-piece bathing suit! How great would it be to slowly remove my beach robe and not have to sprint Olympic-style into the pool. Instead, I could proudly stroll, sit on the edge, and gracefully slink into the water without fear of being mistaken for a beached whale.
Okay…where do you buy tickets for the space shuttle?
Hair Insanity, Dispelling the Chocolate Myth, plus our own WOOFers Restaurant menu and Theme Park, are just a few chapters you’ll enjoy in WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty. Check out our blog, too!
Order from Amazon or Echelon Press
Mary Cunningham is also the author of the Cynthia’s Attic Young Reader Mystery Series.
More about Mary
Born and raised in Southern Indiana, I now live in the mountains of West Georgia with my husband. We're the parents of three creative (grown) children, and a delightfully witty sixteen-year-old granddaughter. I began writing poetry (not good!) at an early age, and then moved on to memoirs. Besides my fantasy series, Cynthia’s Attic, and WOOF: Women Only Over Fifty, in my spare time I’m working on an adult mystery and a young adult time-travel novel.
When not chained to my computer, I enjoy playing golf, swimming, taking walks and pi-routin'. Not sure that's spelled right, but it's Cajun for wandering about, taking in the sights without a specific itinerary.
Award yourself a WOOF-y nickname and explain the thinking behind your choice. (Ignore the fact that you may not necessarily be a woman and/or over 50).
Mary's favourite will win a copy of WOOF: Women Only Over 50. (If you are not a woman over 50, then it makes a great gift - or it might help you understand your Mom/Grandma/wife better!)