Monday, September 8, 2008

Twisted, Twatted, Tuesday: Editorial Anonymous

One of EA's first blog posts is a quiz on why you'll never get published (Why editors want to trick us into believing we won't get published is beyond me.):


For kicks: Funny Cat YouTube


Take this short quiz!

a. You're writing about your pet.
I know you think your pet is darling and precious, but try to wrap your mind around this: no one else cares.

(Note: Exceptions may be made if you're writing about EA's pet, who really is darling and precious--Book Roast team.)

b. You're writing about your grandchildren.
See above.

c. You think writing poetry is easy.
Rhyme doth not a poem make. On the other hand, it's impossible to mail me the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard, so why not send bad verse?

d. You think writing a children's book is easy.
I mean, children can barely read as it is, so how hard can it be to write for them? (www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail84.html)

e. You're writing about squirrels.
Seriously, what is it with the squirrel manuscripts recently? There must be something in the water. Something squirrely.

EA seems to have an irrational fear of squirrels. We don't understand.





Let's talk about EA's cat (pictured above), Robert Munsch, pink clothing, celebrity books, or good luck charms.

****PRIZE: $25 Amazon gift certificate to the person who writes the funniest speech bubble for the cat.****




Please click here if you'd like to visit EA. And if your child has written a story you think is publishable (and your neighbors think so too), go ahead and send it to her. Spread the joy.




Editorial Anonymous has been one of the early supporters of our blog, and we really appreciate her and everything's she's done!! Thank you!!

182 comments:

ChrisEldin said...

Good evening everybody!

I love stacking editors, it's much more fun than Legos.
:-)

Let's keep checking on EE, but still have fun with EA.....
:-)

Chumplet said...

Helllooo, EA and such!

I don't think my cat is adorable. He's a classic asshole.

ChrisEldin said...

Chumplet, what does your cat do to warrant such a colorful nickname?
:-)

Chumplet said...

He chews on the dog and my daughter on a regular basis. Plus, he knows he's the cat's meow.

Editorial Anonymous said...

I'm here. Just for the record, that's not my real cat. It looks very much like my real cat, but I could never get her into a dress.

...Well, I could never get her into a not bloody dress.

ChrisEldin said...

Wait! Is this the story on your blog about the dog falling on the cat....
Flashes are coming back to me...
:-)

Chumplet said...

My brother in law's little sister dressed the cat in doll clothes all the time. And made him ride in a stroller. That cat should have been sainted.

ChrisEldin said...

*waves to EA*

AHAHAHAH--So you're saying it's somebody else's cat, and it's drugged...
:-)

Precie said...

Hi, EA!!!!!

Chumplet said...

Yes, Chris! The big fight a couple of weeks ago. Forty pounds of dog on a cat's head equals mayhem.

Chumplet said...

I once had a cat named Gidgimidge. It was supposed to be "Asshole" in Miq'Mac.

Precie said...

Cat's thought bubble:

My dress! Mine! You can have it when you pry it off my cold, dead body. Mrrrrooaaw!

Editorial Anonymous said...

The difference between cat people and dog people is how much of a taste we have for adversity.

ChrisEldin said...

LOL!
I'm definitely a dog person...
:-)

Precie said...

haha! Another dog person here. I have enough sources of derision and superciliousness in my life. I don't need to feel inferior to a cat too. :)

ChrisEldin said...

*waves to Precie*

Are you still going on FreeRice?
Precie has the largest vocabulary of anyone I know. Except maybe Bernita. Could be close...
:-)

Chumplet said...

... and when you have both, the adversity becomes a war zone. Even if they take naps together, it's a shaky truce.

ChrisEldin said...

HAHAHAHAH! I wrote my post *Before* reading yours!!!
That cracks me up!

Shona Snowden said...

Hi EA!

I really, really, really hope that Buffysquirrel looks in at this one...

And how do you feel about manuscripts with moles in them? I ask this on behalf of a beloved friend, whose writing occasionally has been known to feature moles.

Put me down on the dog side.

Editorial Anonymous said...

Moles are acceptable. The flood of squirrels has actually ebbed.

Right now I'm seeing a lot of Elvis, for some reason.

Dave F. said...

My philosophy is that Everything around here was once dung, is dung or will be dung -- SO SMILE AND BE HAPPY

Take this short quiz!

a. You're writing about your pet.
But I love my pets. It, well that's what canine IT is, an IT... It's no longer a boy or girl because being responsible I made it an IT. That stopped a few bad habits like humping the pillows, the shoes, the chair legs, the ottoman, the neighbor's kids, that stupid sheep the neighbor thinks he raising in his yard.
And as for the feline IT, perhaps I should say felinious IT, IT is like the Rock Island Line but it doesn have pigs, or horses or all live stock, I got all live stock, I got alllllll, lllliiiiivvvee stooooo-ok! It got moles, chipmunks, two baby rabbits, two hunters, a game warden and it tried for a cow (apologies to Tom Lehrer). IT has delusions of grandeur. IT has delusions worthy of a lioness on the African plains. two words, kitty - my boot and your butt!

b. You're writing about your grandchildren.
I'm a disciple of W.C. Fields - boil those kids in oil.

c. You think writing poetry is easy.
Ode to a Grecian Urn is so simple. I find writing poetry is akin to sweating blood.

d. You think writing a children's book is easy.
I was going to say something witty here but that cartoon is SO GOOD. Thanks!

e. You're writing about squirrels.
This is a case of truth being stranger than fiction and I JUST CAN'T MAKE THIS MERDE UP, U KNOW!
Huckabee went on, addressing Mika Brzezinski. "When I was in college, we used to take a popcorn popper, because that was the only thing they would let us use in the dorm, and we would fry squirrels in a popcorn popper in the dorm room.

ChrisEldin said...

Dave, it sounds like IT has taken over your life..
:-)

ChrisEldin said...

EA, children's books about Elvis?
Are they picture books? This is very curious!!
:-)

Precie said...

I'm going to try to scrub dave's last answer from my brain with some steel wool.

LOL, Chris--what can I say? A leopard can't change her spots. :)

Editorial Anonymous said...

Ugh! I may hate squirrels even more now. That's disgusting.

ril said...

Cat: "Guys, guys, it's a comfort thing, OK? Now let's play cards..."

Dave F. said...

PS that's Mike Huckabee the one time presidential candidate, and Mika Brzezinski is Zbigniew Brzezinski's daaughter (gee, ya think so?) and she is on the "Morning Joe" program on MSNBC.

Editorial Anonymous said...

Which are worse, squirrels or politicians?

Shona Snowden said...

Depends who's brushed their teeth recently.

ChrisEldin said...

Depends on the politician?

ChrisEldin said...

Shona, what are the political issues in the news in Aussieland these days?
:-)

ChrisEldin said...

EE wants to know if there's a list (like, did somebody type up a list from the 500 comments) of dog names so he can choose.

I came over here to laugh my ass off.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Chumplet said...

Hmpf. You came here to laugh and I guaranteed myself a loss.

Phoenix said...

Welcome, EA!

I guess I'm bi-pet-al: three cats, three dogs (plus assorted other companion animals) and, like a good mom, I love them all equally.

Squirrels or politicians? My dear, EA, that's an easy one!

Chumplet said...

The squirrels around here are big and dumb. I like the little red ones, though. They're rare around here.

Chipmunks are cuter but noisy.

Shona Snowden said...

Shona, what are the political issues in the news in Aussieland these days?
:-)


The premier of New South Wales woke up the other day planning on reshuffling his cabinet. Alas the cabinet had other plans and by the end of the day he was spending a lot more time with his family. Bit of a surprise to him.

Shona Snowden said...

With all these poisonous animals, even political death is swift and brutal here in Oz.

Evil Editor said...

What happened? Is where I was still there, or is this it?

Shona Snowden said...

It's a dual reality, EE.

Chumplet said...

No! Go back and post the winner!

Shona Snowden said...

Return to the portal of the main page and you can return to yours.

ChrisEldin said...

EE!
EE, meet EA. EA, meet EE.

You can be wherever you like...
:-)

But if you're posting the winner, could you post it on your post so people will know where to look.

Chumplet said...

Then come back here and party some more.

ChrisEldin said...

Nighty all---Please keep chatting as long as you like!!!

Will return in the morning...

:-)

(still laughing at the cat photo!)

Kiersten said...

Oh, dear. EA looks funny and charming. Unfortunately, EE has forbidden me from cheating on him with other editor blogs.

Alas.

Shona Snowden said...

He'll never know...

Evil Editor said...

I'll know.

Shona Snowden said...

You're supposed to be in bed.

Ello said...

Hey I finally made it onto a Book Roast!!!! Thanks Chris for thinking of us late nighters!

Hi EA! I love your blog!

Cat thought bubble:

"Do I like this tutu? Why yes! And I'm looking forward to being neutered without painkillers later this afternoon too."

Chumplet said...

Haha Ello! I have to think of one...

"I swear to God, after this, you'd better sleep with one eye open. Who knows, tonight I might go van Gogh on our ass. You'll wake up missing an ear."

Editorial Anonymous said...

hee hee.

Chumplet said...

Ack. YOUR ass.

Editorial Anonymous said...

I have to go to bed, but let me know what else I can do to seduce you all away from EE.

There must be lots of reasons why I'm more appealing--
Reason 1: I can put 'editrix' on my business cards.

Chumplet said...

Oooh, sounds naughty. G'night. I'll pop in tomorrow, I hope!

Ello said...

I love this picture! I have another thought bubble:

"Despite the look on my face, the stupid human continues to babble inanely at me."

Janet Reid said...

EA, it's only midnight! The night is yet in rompers!

Sarah Laurenson said...

Kitteh say 'Tonight, you die'

Hi EA, Welcome to the fire!

Janet Reid said...

plus you have the cutest avatar/icon, image thingie of all.

Kiersten said...

Oh, gosh, Editrix is unbelievably cool.

Janet said...

I once wrote a composition titled "My Cat" for my Grade 12 Composition class, just to bug the teacher. And to show him that it was possible to make it interesting. I wish I had kept a copy.

I did get a good mark for it.

Janet said...

I was going to say "entitled" but then I saw Janet Reid was here...

Janet said...

EA, do you think that would make a good reference in a query letter? ;o)

Janet said...

Speech bubble entry:

Say one word and I'll scratch your eyes out.

Sorry, I can't write in LOLcatz.

Kiersten said...

Oh, EA, re: your hatred of squirrels.

Did you ever see that story about the rabid squirrel who was randomly attacking people in a park? It attacked a little girl, three- or four-years-old. Grandpa was not happy about that, so loaded up his shotgun and set off down the trail at the park. Lo and behold, psycho squirrel actually tried to attack him, too, and got a face full of buckshot for its troubles.

It's a weird, weird world.

Squirrels just creep me out because they're so smart. I used to go backpacking in Havasupai (in the Grand Canyon) and they not only got into your bags, they unzipped zippers and opened ziploc baggies. Creepy. At least they didn't steal medication and shoes, like the people who ran the campsite, though. Of course, now that I think about it, they were probably working together.

Children's book, anyone?

(EE, this doesn't count as cheating. I'm just discussing squirrels.)

Whirlochre said...

Cat says

"Try to look mean! Try to look mean! Maybe she'll ditch the mittens and bonnet."

Shona Snowden said...

Cat says:

"I told you, I wanted the blue one."

OK, so I'm ineligible. Just wanted to play.

ChrisEldin said...

Top of the morning, all!
:-)

BuffySquirrel said...

The difference between sqrls and politicians?

Sqrls bite you in the front!

ChrisEldin said...

AHAHAHAH!
Hi Buffy!!!
:-)

BuffySquirrel said...

Hi Chris :).

The cat is obviously saying, "You have to sleep some time".

ChrisEldin said...

Hehehe

Poor kitty...

Word said...

Hi Squirrel and Cat lovers!

EA, I have a question.

Okay...whats up with all the anonymous stuff?

Why I say!

How can I stalk you if I don't know your name? Huh? Answer me that question.

Oh oh oh. Just thought of another question.

Have you ever published (knowingly or unknowingly) any of your blog visitors?

Chumplet said...

Good morning! I'll hand out later at lunch time. If I have a lunch time. Deadline day, yanno...

Chumplet said...

Hang out. Not hand out. Damn keyboard.

ChrisEldin said...

Word, *I KNOW!*

EA has been dodging all the tricks I can think of. When I asked for a photo of herself, or her mailbox, or her place of work, see what she sends?
:-)

ChrisEldin said...

Chumplet, deadlines are other people's perception /distortion of your time continuum. Something like that. I'm sure Dave can say something more scientific to get you out of work...
:-)

Robin S. said...

Hi EA,

I don't write children's fiction (and believe me, with what I write about - that's a good thing), but I had to pop on and say -
I love your kitty picture!

We have a 5 month old black kitten named Madison. She's quite the pain, which in my opinion is the way cats are supposed to be when they own a family.

Anyway, hope you survive your day here, honey. These people are wild.
There's not a sedate soul in the bunch except for me.

You do know that, right?

laughingwolf said...

we have ea, and ee... can eh be far behind? ;)

check out:

http://icanhascheezburger.com/

if'n ye wanna see cats/kittens in weird situations... other critters, too :O lol

Word said...

Speach Bubble for the cat.

"Yeah, um, I said TuNA not TuTU."

Editorial Anonymous said...

"Sqrls bite you in the front!"

Awesome. Good answer!

Editorial Anonymous said...

"Have you ever published (knowingly or unknowingly) any of your blog visitors?"

Ah... No comment.

Editorial Anonymous said...

"plus you have the cutest avatar/icon, image thingie of all."

Thanks, Janet. I do love my slush monster. I have many many talented readers, thank goodness.

ChrisEldin said...

No Comment

Good try, Word.
:-)

LW, those cats are hysterical!!
:-)

ChrisEldin said...

I'm thinking EA is a nice morning person... wazup with those nite critters?
:-)

Precie said...

Ooh, I thought of another bubble...

"Okay, I admit the dress looks hot, but you're insane if you honestly think I'm going to dance for you."

Precie said...

Oh, and I have questions!

1) What are your favorite books?

2) What do you think are the best books EVAH for children?

Stephanie said...

Ok, the cat talk is bumming me out. Mine got run over last week.Exactly one week to the day when I was roasted on this very blog. Coincidence?

Chumplet said...

Remember the Big Blackout? We still had to get the damn newspaper out on the dark, dark streets.

Chumplet said...

Oh, poor Stephanie! Condolences.

Editorial Anonymous said...

1. As much as I'd like to answer this, everyone who knows me well would immediately recognize my choices.

2. That's impossible to answer. Different children respond to different things, so the best books for one kid are completely different for another. And what thrills me to bits is any kid loving any book, so I'm not picky about what books match up to what kids.

3. How about what I've just read?: Cabinet of Wonders. Frankenstein Makes a Cake. Wave. Zombie Blondes. The New Policeman. Madapple.

Stephanie said...

Thanks, Chumplet. So EA, I love the raw honesty of your blog. What was the moment or lightning strike or wild hair that made you decide to start it?

Editorial Anonymous said...

Doh, sorry. That's Frankenstein TAKES the Cake.

I love Adam Rex. It's starting to make my boyfriend jealous.

Editorial Anonymous said...

Stephanie,
I suppose I was inspired by Miss Snark. There's so much information about publishing that people don't have-- and so many misconceptions.

I hoped that I could offer some real info, and a window into what editors are really like, and give children's book authors and illustrators a chance at a reality check... which I hope is beneficial to everyone (though sometimes you do have to get over the shock first).

Stephanie said...

I think you're doing a great service to writers, keeping us from making dumb mistakes:)

ChrisEldin said...

Zombie Blondes? (that's me doing housework)

OO!! That sounds fun! Is that a children's book? heheh

laughingwolf said...

glad ye like, chris! ;)

ChrisEldin said...

*waves to Stephanie*

I'm so sorry about your cat.
Do you want to share a story about him/her? Or does that make you feel worse..

Just_Me said...

Cats? I adore my fish!

<--- Me who always seems to be in her own happy world.

*waves to EA*

Stephanie said...

My cat was mean. I have scars. But I miss her.

Stephanie said...

EA, another question. What is your highest hope for a book that you edit? NBA? Best-seller? Newbery? Or is there something else that you consider the crowning achievement?

Charles Gramlich said...

So my Squirrel of Talera, starring Ruenn and Rannon's grandkids and their pet llama isn't a good idea? Is that what you're telling me? But I'm already 1100 pages into it.

Anonymous said...

Have you read Scaredy Squirrel by Melanie Watt? You might change your mind about squirrels.

Adam Rex is hilarious. I never thought I would love a character named J. Lo until I read his Smekday book.

Love your blog, especially the slush and punishment posts. The Everyone is Different link had me laughing for days.

BuffySquirrel said...

I'm sorry, Stephanie. Every time my cat goes outside, I worry about her. But it seems I should be worrying more about the birds and the mousies!

Natalie said...

Clearly I need to stop sleeping. You guys had a party last night! Nice to "meet" you EA.

ChrisEldin said...

Hi Nintendo Natalie!
(sorry, it's stuck in my head)
:-)

Natalie said...

Hehe, Chris. No worries--I LOVE nintendo. I'll take it. I've played since I was a kid. I still play video games...when I'm not writing, of course;)

Phoenix said...

Cat 1 brought a rat into the house this morning (country home). I picked up cat and rat and put them outside where cats 2 and 3 joined in tormenting the rat - letting it go, batting it about, catching it, letting it go again... Dog 1 walks by, scoops the rat up and promptly eats it. The diff between cats and dogs? Cats are creative, dogs are practical. Squirrels? They have their own agendas.

Evil Editor said...

I've just added The Higher Power of Lucky to the Evil Editor Book Chat Schedule. Will the minions be happy, EA?

Evil Editor said...

Hmph. Probably went golfing.

Ello said...

I got another thought bubble!

"As soon as she leaves the house, I'm peeing in her bed."

So EA - what do you think of the maturity level of alot of the YA that is written these days. In some cases,I find very frank and adult themes in more YA's then alot of mainstream adult books. So is this a sign of the changing times? I still remember when Forever by Judy Blume was the most controversial book out there for YA. Now it would be considered tame.

ChrisEldin said...

*Waves to EE*

OOO!! EE has a GREAT idea!! EA --it would be great if you could join December's book chat at EE's and discuss "The Higher Power of Lucky"

No golf today, EE? Maybe there's a par 3 somewhere....
:-)

Stephanie said...

ello, love your thought bubble!

And I remember sneaking "Forever" home, then secretly passing it off to the next reader. Does contraband YA even exist anymore?

Miss Snark said...

EA, I'm quite flattered.
KY wants you to know he'll protect you from the evil squirrels should you care to perambulate about the park with him.

ChrisEldin said...

AWWWW!
KY is almost as loved as Miss Snark...
:-)

ChrisEldin said...

EA must really be working...

I have this image of editors--editor reclining in a soft leather chair, red pen in one hand and warm latte in the other, listening to classical music, perhaps making lunch appts here and there--well, this image is fading a bit.

mlh said...

Welcome to the Book Roast, EA!

A speech bubble for the cat? Is there a reason that animals are being featured this week?

I'll take a crack at it.

Cat thought Bubble: Please, writers, stop sending her anymore Barbie Princess manuscripts!

LitWitch said...

EA! EE! Miss Snark! KY! Squirrels! Oh, the majesty (and the travesty) -- many heartfelt thanks for all the clue that you do!

That said, thought bubble:

"There shall be no shelter from my twinkly wrath!"

LOL cat version:

U HAZ PUNK'D ME

:-)

Precie said...

EE and Miss Snark appear! Now that's a high compliment!

Editorial Anonymous said...

"EA, another question. What is your highest hope for a book that you edit? NBA? Best-seller? Newbery? Or is there something else that you consider the crowning achievement?"

Varies per book. Best-seller-dom is a nice thing to shoot for, but realistic expectations are a good thing, too--and don't take away from your own adoration of a book.

"I've just added The Higher Power of Lucky to the Evil Editor Book Chat Schedule. Will the minions be happy, EA?"

Depends how many scrotum jokes you work in.

"So EA - what do you think of the maturity level of alot of the YA that is written these days. In some cases,I find very frank and adult themes in more YA's then alot of mainstream adult books. So is this a sign of the changing times? I still remember when Forever by Judy Blume was the most controversial book out there for YA. Now it would be considered tame."

I think teenagers are getting a bit more sophisticated, gradually. But I think this trend is in large part due to others recognizing that teenagers aren't dumb. Both are good things. And there are still lots of not-heavy books out there for those teenagers who don't want Adult Themes, so everybody's happy.

BuffySquirrel said...

Snarky!

*waves frantically*

What're trying to do to me, EE? My library doesn't have that book either!

BuffySquirrel said...

Yeah, there should be something for teen readers between children's books and Victorian porn.

Ahem.

Kimberly Lynn said...

In regard to EA’s cat . . .

I visualize her more wearing a custom tailored Coco Chanel suit versus a tutu. (EA only pokes fun at writers!) And right now, EA and her feline friend are lapping up a hot beverage from their porcelain tea cups. Their matching linen bibs are embroidered with some snarky motto only the two of them can appreciate. Cheers!

ChrisEldin said...

Buffy,
I just have to bite... what's Victorian porn? Sounds like an oxymoron. Or maybe it's supposed to be and I'm dense right now..
:-)

ChrisEldin said...

Have to go grocery shopping, will be back in an hour...
Carry on!!
*waves to Kimberly*
:-)

BuffySquirrel said...

Eh, it's what it sounds like. Porn written in Victorian times. Pretty racy, too!

Editorial Anonymous said...

All the raciest stuff comes from repressed people.

Precie said...

"Depends how many scrotum jokes you work in."

How many scrotum jokes could there possibly be? Wait! DON'T answer.

Precie said...

EA--Here's a question that really puts you in the hot seat. (Feel free not to answer, of course.)

How do you feel about censorship or more specifically the banning of books in schools and libraries?

Kimberly Lynn said...

Picture books, middle-grade, or young adult?

Which do you enjoy most? And why?

Also, what is your zip code? Just kidding. My bad.

Chumplet said...

The lady on the radio had a scrotum joke this morning, but it might offend some. I don't know about this crowd, though

Sarah Hina said...

Great roast and blog, EA! I've enjoyed the reading.

Kitty thought bubble:

"No matter what they take from me, they can't take away my dignity."

Oh, wait, that's Whitney...

ChrisEldin said...

Chumplet,
Could you tell us the scrotum joke?
That will also answer Precie's question about censorship...
:-)

great. now that darn song is in my head.

Editorial Anonymous said...

"How do you feel about censorship or more specifically the banning of books in schools and libraries?"

Evil. Banning should be banned. Also, smash violence.

"Picture books, middle-grade, or young adult? Which do you enjoy most? And why?"

I love them all. How to choose? There is happiness in each kind, like different flavors of truffles.

ChrisEldin said...

EA, I hope it's okay if I ask a question...
I no longer write picture books. I have enough on my hard drive to last through a nuclear war.
But what is the trend today regarding word count? It used to be under 1,000 words, but now it seems to be much shorter, is that true?

Thanks!

Editorial Anonymous said...

Depends on the picture book's use.
Bedtime? Short.
Storytime? A bit longer.
Classroom use? Maybe long-ish.

strugglingwriter said...

"They told me the corset would make me look Steampunk. They didn't tell me it was pink."

cindy said...

"give me back my tiara, you slimy newt."

woohoo for EA on bookroast! love your blog, EA!

Precie said...

Thought of another bubble...just gazing into kitty's eyes:

"Game on."

Kiersten said...

I've got a question for you, EA. What is your *least* favorite part of being an editor?

Travis Erwin said...

bubble -- Crookshanks never had to put up with this shit.

Editorial Anonymous said...

Paperwork, and its cousin email.

I can't tell you how much of my time is taken up with this stuff. It's a struggle to find time for the creative things that make this job worthwhile.

Janet Reid said...

Maybe your slush monster and my assssssistant should be deputized to handle email.

ChrisEldin said...

EA, LOL! Makes your avatar even more meaningful...
:-)

Just added a funny youtube about cats...

Whirlochre said...

Scrotums are their own cruel joke...

Kimberly Lynn said...

“I love them all. How to choose? There is happiness in each kind, like different flavors of truffles.”

Yes, I agree.

What are your thoughts on writers and/or authors who write in more than one genre for the same reason?

Editorial Anonymous said...

They are truffles, too.

BuffySquirrel said...

Truffles...my sister gave me some truffles....

*looks in box*

Damn. Empty.

*blames cat*

Oh_bother said...

This is my first time at Book Roast! I follow EA and Janet Reid's blogs and they both mentioned being roasted this week.

Cat bubble: Don't fear the squirrels. Fear the one who hunts them.

Or maybe she's just a librarian glaring at a particularly noisy patron.

Kimberly Lynn said...

Aw, that was sweet!

And a big part of why we love you so much! Thanks for sharing your time today.

Hugs.

Chumplet said...

ChrisEldin said...
Chumplet, Could you tell us the scrotum joke? That will also answer Precie's question about censorship...

Okay, it was something about Lance Armstrong cycling in circles because he's only got one ball.

Kiersten said...

Ah, paperwork. Makes sense. I figured it would be the adminstrative rather than the creative.

Still, I envy you your job.

ChrisEldin said...

Buffy, You crack me up with that avatar!

Chumplet, OMG! Pretty funny.
:-)

WO's joke was pretty good too.

Bonus points if anyone can work a scrotum joke into the speech bubble. You have an hour and a half left...
;-)

Word said...

EA -

Sometimes, when listening to a new song on the radio I think to myself - "Yup - that's gonna be a number one." Sometimes I'm even right.

What about you. Ever read something from the slush or not the slush and just "know" right away it's headed for big sales. And were you right? Or have you ever turned something down you knew would do well for personal reasons? What would you do with something like that?

Word said...

Ball number one says, "Hey watcha doin' ball2?"

Ball two says , "Nothin. Just hangin around."

Do I get a prize for lamest joke EVER?

Word said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Editorial Anonymous said...

"What about you. Ever read something from the slush or not the slush and just "know" right away it's headed for big sales. And were you right?"

Yes, and yes.

"Or have you ever turned something down you knew would do well for personal reasons? What would you do with something like that?"

Yes again. Blasted personal principles!

The couple of books this question bring to mind were books that simply were not for children. But they were picture book format, so they landed on my desk. And sure enough, when they were published by other, less principled, children's presses, they did quite well.

And it does occur to me that my house could have used that money. But I'm back and forth about whether I regret passing on them.

It's one of my biggest peeves that publishers aid and abet adults in their impulse to buy books for their nostalgia (rather than for the children they know). I mean, adults are readers, too, so if they were just buying the books to read themselves, that would be all kinds of OK. But then those picture books could be published by an adult imprint. No, they're buying books for the imaginary childhood they think they remember and then inflicting those books on actual, non-imaginary children.

Grr!

Oh_bother said...

"It's one of my biggest peeves that publishers aid and abet adults in their impulse to buy books for their nostalgia (rather than for the children they know). "

I haven't heard it put that way before. Could you be a bit more specific? Are the children in these stories twee? Do the stories describe the world the way adults see it- or wish it was?

Thanks!

Word said...

I think that books written and illustrated by Audrey and Don Wood are some of the very best picture books I've ever seen.

Do you see any new up and comers who could rival this duo?

jeanoram said...

I hope the contest is still open because I have one!

Cat's thought bubble:

Pink is NOT the new black.

Cheers everyone!
Jean

ChrisEldin said...

Just a few more minutes to go!

Thank you to everyone who stopped by!!!!
{insert group hug}

EA, I think it's okay, whenever you're ready, to announce the funniest speech bubble!
:-)

Word said...

Okay - last question. Honest.

What are your thoughts about:

When Sophie Gets Angry - Really, Really, Angry...
By Molly Bang

I personally didn't get "why" all the kudos. Am I a dunce? Can you help me understand?

ChrisEldin said...

Word, True story--I bought that book because I thought it would help me with Thing 2 and his temper. But after halfway through the first reading, he "got" why I was reading it to him. He became very very angry.
Then, being the mature parent I am, started cracking up.
{sigh}

Word said...

Ha ha! Kids are too smart to be suckered! I love that.

Similarly - Harriet You'll Drive Me Wild by Mem Fox had the same sort of impact on my thing 1.

I couldn't make it past the first couple of pages. I think it hit too close to home for her (hee hee hee)

Gotta love those kids! And to think...they'll be changing our depends one day!!!

Shona Snowden said...

Just wanted to say hi to oh_bother and anybody else who is dipping into the Book Roast for the first time. Hope you had fun!

Kiersten said...

Hey--whatever happened to Savannah Spitfire?

ChrisEldin said...

LOL Kiersten!
Truth is, we had to feed the troll.

Kiersten said...

Well, it happens.

Oh_bother said...

Thanks, Shona! I had a great time.

ChrisEldin said...

Hope to see you around more roasts, oh bother! (funny moniker!)
:-)

ChrisEldin said...

I'm going to have to say "Nighty Night" to everyone....
I'm a morning person. Yep.

I'll have to catch EA's announced winner tomorrow am---sorry for bailing!

EA, thank you SOOOO much for taking time out of your busy schedule to come here!!! We've all had such a good time. It's been a real treat!!!

Thanks!!

:-)

ChrisEldin said...

But please feel free to keep on chatting!!!

And thanks again to everyone who popped in. It means a lot to see such a great community!
:-)

Oh_bother said...

I hate trying to pick a name- even for my poor characters!
I was setting up my account and trying to think of something. In my frustration, I channeled Winnie the Pooh. And there you have it...

Shona Snowden said...

Blogger is all a botheration, so that's most appropriate.

I'll keep dropping by, looking out for a winner!

Editorial Anonymous said...

FINALISTS:
"Tonight, you die."
"I told you, I wanted the blue one."
"You have to sleep some time."
"As soon as she leaves the house, I'm peeing in her bed."
"There shall be no shelter from my twinkly wrath!"
"Give me back my tiara."

WINNER:
"Game on."

Thanks everyone for playing! And thanks for the fun... though I had hoped to feel a little more roasted by this time. Feel free to come by the blog and give me a hard time, ok?

cindy said...

CONGRATS, precie!

and YAY i was a finalist!

wooohooo!i'm never even close with these things. thanks, EA! =D

Phoenix said...

Yay, Precie, and all the funny finalists!

Thanks for coming, EA! Not feeling well-roasted? Our fault, I'm afraid. We heard someone say you were a very rare editor and thought the order was for editor, rare. Still, I think the whole day was quite well done, don't you agree? ;o)

Chumplet said...

It was super, and I finish the day not loving my cat any more than I did this morning. But he did brush against me affectionately, so I guess there's hope for him.

Congrats, Precie, and thanks, EA! I promise to visit more often.

Shona Snowden said...

Oh, I'm sorry, EA, were we too nice? That might mean you might come back some time, though...

Congrats to Precie! I know this will make your day.

BuffySquirrel said...

A finalist! Woot!

:)

ChrisEldin said...

Congratulations Precie!!!
I'll contact you via email with details about gift certificate.

Thanks again EA!!!! And everyone for playing!!

*looks around empty room*

I know it's early, but where is everyone?
:-)

laughingwolf said...

grats p!

Precie said...

WOO HOO!!!!! Thank you, EA!! And thanks for such a fascinating day!

And thanks to Chris and all the Book Roast hosts!

{precie does the snoopy dance}