Just popping in---Have to catch up, but let's start *another!* thread here... :-)
For kicks--Stella YouTube here.
Monday, September 8, 2008
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Welcome to the Book Roast
Our Contests Use Only the Finest Ingredients
Authors Already Sliced and Served
Chris Eldin
Enjoys eating ice-cream, wearing elastic-waistband thongs, and pushing bunnies into canyons. Writes humorous middle-grade novels. Her current WIP is about three hundred cookie bags in. If you're a writer, you understand.
Diesel
Rob Kroese aka Diesel is a severed head floating in a vat. But fortunately he's pretty good with Photoshop.
Jason Evans
Is the mountain wanderer who works in the bustle of Philadelphia. In his writing and photography, he mixes one part moonlight, one part mid-life crisis, one part green countryside, and one part getting run down in the street. When not practicing law or working on his current project, So This Fish Walks Into a Cemetery, he serves as the Twilightkeeper at The Clarity of Night.
Sarah Laurenson
Type A writer, reader, volunteerer, liver; trying to be a human being rather than a human doing while doing too much. A study in contradictions and living life as a paradox - writes light, humorous middle grade and deep, edgy YA.
Shona Snowden
Likes black tea, Apple Macs and koalas in kilts. Shona's short stories have been published in Australia and the UK. She is working on a novel and sharpening her Author Toasting Fork, all the better to enjoy a good Book Roast.
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Someone has to clean up around here, jump in when patrons become unruly, and otherwise help the chefs by adding special ingredients.
Antonio, the Assistant
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Mystery Publisher, Ms. Sally Spitfire
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196 comments:
After reading through all the comments (and wondering when EA will show HER face to face allegations of not falling short of evil), I'm wondering if all the anonymous editors are manifestations of the same person...
:-)
Hey Robin, I like the golf carts too!
The dog is called Mickay.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Spike? Is that the dog's name?
How about Montmorency? Sounds like a proper English dog name. Methinks the EE, in spite of the nipple rings, is in fact English.
Chris: You better re-think that 6 AM start time for when it's Janet's turn.
I want to know why I owe EE $30??
$30--could be six bottles of the kind of wine I drink.
Just doing a drive-by to say "Hi" (still at work and likely to be for a long, long time). I'll try to come by a little later when things slow up - y'all'll be around in 2009, right?
As far as the little weredingo's name? Has Rumpelstitskin already been suggested? If so, then I'm going with Grisham. Not that I'm allowed to win or anything, but I wanted my comment to be something more substantial than whining.
Phoenix, you're allowed one drive-by whine.
:-)
$30--could be six bottles of the kind of wine I drink.
When we go out to dinner, please hand the wine list to me.
BWAHAHAHA! Shteef, I am waiting for the day...
;-)
I have to go feed the Things dinner.
Thing 1 just received his third yellow note from school. This is the 10th day of school, so that's one note every 3 days, right?
But at least all the notes are coming from different teachers. He knows how to spread the love.
Thing *2* I mean!
Poor kid though. He really is always the first one to get caught. He doesn't know how to hide like the other kids.
I want to know why I owe EE $30??
Tupelo, Mississippi? 1994? A little matter of bailing you out of jail? I'm sure you'd like to forget all about it.
Details!!!!!!
This has all sorts of possibilities!
I'll bet Thing 1 and Thing 2 trade blame all the time, anyway, so things will even out.
They sure have cheap cops in Tupelo, Mississippi if you can buy them off for thirty bucks.
I was thinking the same thing, Chumplet!
:-)
It was 1995. And I was the one who bailed YOU out of jail. And lent you $30 for pants.
I have proof
Wow, you have it all covered, dontcha, Janet? EE should cough up the dough.
Absolutely! Or at least give you a free set of Novel Deviations...
Again. I arrive and everyone shuts up. I'm a notorious thread killer.
Chumplet!!
we're a fickle bunch, the lot of us.
A yellow note sounds lemony fresh, so it must be a good thing.
LOL, Bill! He just loves to talk. Can't imagine where he gets it from...
:-)
What grade is Thing 1 - I mean, Thing 2 in?
Grades 3 and 5.
:-)
Do you think EE needs to eat dinner? Or is feeding the puppy?
Man, this took a lot of reading to catch up...
Too late for dinner, unless he's one of those 'dinner at eight' types. Wouldn't surprise me.
AFLAC-Man is here!!!!
You are history-making!!!
My stomach still hurts from laughing so hard.
(You have to go to EE's blog to see what I'm talking about. It's worth the visit)
Uh, yeah -- I already looked...
How was the conference call?
Finished early. Those are the best ones.
Who'd you talk about?
Aflac. The duck, right?
Yeah, it was a duck related conference call. Quackers.
Ril, did you read the Tulepo court documents, and the charges against EE?
No, I just skimmed the comments.
They're worth a peek. Once you click on the link, you have to go to the second page..
Ok, I'm off to read...
I only read the first page of the report. The legalese was making my brain hurt.
A conference call with ducks makes me think of the grownups in Charlie Brown. Wha wha waaaaa....
wow, that Stella segment on Youtube makes me hot to see the movie. And it's pure ballet there at the end, did you notice?
yowza.
I haven't seen that movie in 20 years.... I think I'd appreciate it much more now!
Yowza indeed!!
Aw, can't watch it here at work; have to wait 'til I get home.
damn! i missed alla dat living here in da frozen north! :(
and stella IS fine... still! ;) lol
I could hunt for the link but I don't wanna miss anything.
Yeah, EE should have known better than to try and pull that on Janet--doesn't she represent crime fiction? Bad move.
The poor puppies probably need some attention. That, or he's watching reality tv.
He's probably watching Streetcar!
Dearest Evil, I think all the guesses are in, so whenever you're ready to announce a winner...
:-)
Sorry, I have a guest, and we're watching Monday Night Football. But I'll cough up the Novel Deviations collection if Janet will consider representing the hardback version which combines only the best ones.
I believe I've demonstrated the film potential of Novel Deviations already.
Plus you've already said somewhere that everyone who has an opening in the book gets 1/88th of the profits. More than generous.
2nd half starting, Gotta go.
i'm still looking for something REAL on 'reality tv', all i see is scripted crap! :(
A segment about Bruegel is on one of my kids science shows! Don't know why really...
Back around 10 eastern. Or is that someone else's time?
EE watches football? Is he serious?
I'm posting the next one at 10pm, but this one will still be live....
Many, many thanks!!!!!
:-)
Jeepers, when you close these comment trails, you ought tell us. I missed it completely.
Here I am, and you're all watching tv.
*waving to Dave*
Dave, what do you mean? I close one and open another right after because with over 100 comments, it takes a long time to refresh the screen. But hte comments aren't closed!
This one will stay active until EE announces the winner, but I have to post the next one at 10pm, so there may be some overlap (but not much). Plus, you'll get to hang out with 2 editors at the same time....
:-)
It just occurred to me--was there a clue about the puppy's name somewhere in the court docs?
Is the puppy's name Bailey?
I know I'm not allowed to play, but I couldn't resist...
C'mon it's got to be something like Apostrophe, Trope or Pathetic Fallacy.
Or Fang.
I wanna know if EE got the $50K. (Heh-heh. Good one, Janet. Zing.)
EE, you're sorry you have a guest? Have you asked them to leave? That's an easy way to get rid of them. Unless you're serving 7-layer dip. In that case, I'll be right over.
Oh, I'll need your address.
And a plane ticket.
*looks around the room suspiciously*
Where's Robin?
uh...query letter and a synopsis. Email is fine.
I watched the Stella scene. How can Stanley be so wet and his hair remain so dry?
Chumplet, you're looking at the wrong parts...
heh heh
A query letter for Novel Deviations? That would be quite fun!
They didn't zoom in on the right parts.
EE has a guest for football?
Maybe he ought to serve cocktail weenies, beer, deep fried jalapenos and deep fried garlic. Now that would be a party that gets them jumping!
I did that once (served Vienna sausages) and my guests found their kid's slingshot and those little wieners hurt and leave really nasty oil splotches on the walls.
;)
Crap! You guys are still here???
Superglued to my seat.
Dave, that's a funny picture!
:-)
Hey Robin! Where've you been? Hm?
OK- I just reread...
Damn. i've missed a lot of stuff.
Who all is still here?
Ril, you read it!!
;-)
ril, my darling man - your continuation was an instant classic, honey. Thank you so much!!
Dave's guests should party in the doghouse.
Read it? I was there.
Still superglued, ril?
I knew the duck lady was Robin's as soon as I read it.
EE tweaked the continuation some -- made it sound more like you than I did, I think.
Still superglued, ril?
You know, it's uncomfortable at first, but after a while you kind of get used to it. I think it takes the pressure off...
Were you thinking of my Ducky-Duck when you wrote that, Robin? She would be quite honored.
Phoenix, glad you're off work now. You've been working too hard lately..
phoenix - where have you been??
so you knew it was me, ril? Cool.
This wasn't a beginning, by the way. It's a scene from a later chapter in my novel.
I'm going to post EA's in a moment, and I hope we all can go back and forth...
:-)
oh phoenix - I bet you're Ducky Duck is better lookin'!
Hey Chris,
One helluva party, huh?
Just taking a break, Chris. But look at you still going strong as the affable (vs Aflack) Roast Master here.
Has the Feetballs game gone into extra innings?
I believe they're fifty down the yardarm and swinging for a tryout.
EE's gone bye bye like this before.
Cooking show...minions....cooking show....minions...millionth hit celebtration? or Gordon....
Sheesh, he went golfing today, for cripes sake. Couldn't he have gone tomorrow?
EA's is up. So you can pop in and say hi to her while EE is still watching football....
Hey Chumplet, don't you have something coming out in print soon?
Oh, he didn't go golfing. No one golfs nine holes on purpose and calls themselves a golfer!
Actually, it came out in print on the publisher's website yesterday, but it's not on Amazon yet. I was gonna wait till all my 'ducks' were in a row.
I gotta go guys- have a great night!
Congrats, Chumplet!
Hahah Robin! The Short Course is for kids!
Yeah- but EE is a geezer!
Yay, Chumplet!
Actually, I lived in a community with a 9-hole golf course. It was quite renowned. But I don't golf, so maybe it was renowned among the rugrat set.
Yeah, well calling it "a nine hole golf course" is cheaper than baiting the moles, right?
I think we have about five golf courses per capita in this region.
'lo. Maybe EE snuck off to bed.
Apparently he has house-guests. So you could be right...
It's Texas, ril, so prairie dogs.
Prairie dogs? Awww, cute!
Ril, Can you do a speech bubble in the next post?
Would love to see what you come up with!!!
:-)
Subtle, ril. But effective.
I'll take a look, but I might need some to think about it...
Is there a puppy whimpering outside EE's door tonight?
Sorry. I thought I was on mute.
I'm back.
And I don't like what I'm reading.
You got a problem with prairie dogs?
Is there a list of dog name guesses? So I can choose the funniest?
Are we the only two people here?
And I don't like what I'm reading.
It was ril.
Copy and paste all the comments, filter out the dog names and make your choice. Sounds easy, huh?
(I think I just guaranteed myself a loss)
Just choose McKoala's suggestion. Heh, heh.
And you're welcome to come over here and discuss it if there's a problem...
I don't know if there's a list.
There's no list. Just a stream of consciousness....
Not sure what to advise, but perhaps just glance over the 500 comments and see what jumps out?
No, I couldn't have gone golfing tomorrow, Chump.
I'm guessing that the name isn't Queenie or Rex or Prince - you'd never name your dog after British Royalty. Princess Margaret would get angry, not to mention Camilla, she might trample you with her hooves.
That's when you guaranteed your loss.
perhaps just glance over the 500 comments and see what jumps out?
Sounds just like a slush pile.
There were probably guesses made whaen I wasn't here.
Slushkiller. A fine name for a dog.
I'm going to flounce now.
I guess.
If it were like a slushpile, there'd be no winner.
Please do. Guess.
Flounce?
So the dog's called...Loser.
There were some good guesses on page one, let me go look thru them.
I almost feel sorry for Sparky....
OK, I'm going to guess they're not dogs at all, but EE is harboring a pair of giant pandas: lo-mein and yin-yang.
Am I close?
Flounce. Walk out in a huff. But if I had to define it, I triple guaranteed a loss.
EE is harboring a pair of giant pandas: lo-mein and yin-yang
They're the weredingo fodder.
I'm pretty sure pandas are not edible because the cuteness gets stuck in your throat.
When I took my daughter to see the pandas at the San Diego Zoo, one was laying up in a tree.
Peeing.
It's the only thing she remembers.
You've tried it then, ril?
Kiersten, the whole world is just out to get you, isn't it?!!!
When the giant panda at the zoo near here passed away, they had a national day of mourning. And a barbecue.
Just the pandas, apparently.
I'm back. I see some of you are in two rooms at once.
Only in the metaphysical sense.
I'm sure you enjoyed that, Ril.
Pandas are not as innocent as they look...
We're multi-tasking, EE.
*waves to EE*
Sooooo.... have you picked a winner?
But I must cease shortly and go and do some real work, so please...the winner is...???
....nervous tension....
Chumplet had a good name, but I had to disqualify her. But if she talks Kiersten into giving me her painting I'll reconsider. I think Grisham is a good dog name. I'm not sure who said it first, though.
Oh, the suspense...
I DID!!!
I'm going with Grisham.
When I took my daughter to see the pandas at the San Diego Zoo, one was laying up in a tree. Peeing.
When I was a kid, I saw a female hippopotamus let fly with a stream that made most garden hoses look feeble. She was one of the first to give birth in captivity and WOWIE, you should have seen the crowd move out!
Also, how could I bear to part with the painting?
Unless I win the contest. In which case, tell me where to send it.
I DID!!!
Actually, I believe it was Evan McCormack in 1953, but you were probably second or third.
I believe Grisham the dog was mentioned on the first party page.
Yay! Sweet Grisham.
So the other one's Clancy?
Grisham is a decent name for a dog.
Pop-Tart would be a bad name for a dog. Even a cat. Maybe even a pet rat or some other vermin like ferrets.
;)
Congratulations Kiersten!!!!
And thank you soo much for playing with us today EE!!! We've had a lot of fun, and hope you did too!
And we hope you can pop in during the week of roasts....
:-)
Kiersten, send me your email, and we'll organize your prize....
THanks EVERYONE!!!
Awesome. I'm ever so pleased.
Thanks, EE.
And thanks Book Roast. This was great fun.
EE, I can do another painting for you, only because you helped me sell my first two novels.
Kiersten, you're off the hook.
Wow, that's cool. I said Grisham, too, and I didn't even see Kiersten's guess! Great female writers who frequently visit EE's blog think alike, eh? Congrats, K!
Well done Kiersten.
So, just in time for lunch...
So true, Phoenix. So true.
Whew, thanks, Chumplet. That would have broken my heart.
Congratulations, Kiersten!
Pandaburger, anyone?
Which one of mine did you like, EE? The Passive Aggressive Psycho Bitch?
I was disqualified because of the golf crack? Oh, dear...
Ah, I see you figured out the winner while I was off confirming it.
I knew it came up more than once.
I was kidding You were disqualified because it's a male dog and he doesn't like being called bitch.
This is the benefit of having no life. Otherwise Phoenix would have beaten me to the punch.
I knew it came up more than once.
Yeah, you don't forget something like that.
Thank you, EE. Couldn't be here for much of this, but looks like it was a blast! Thank you for giving up so much of your time.
Howzabout I email a good quality jpg to you, EE, and you can print it out in colour and frame it?
No worries. I'm not eligible to win anyway ;o)
I gotta go eat; it's been fun hanging out with you all.
Thanks!
Oh, thank goodness. I was worried you'd be bitter, and then I'd lose your input on future queries. Which, heaven help me, I hope I never have to submit a query on EE again.
Thanks for coming. Sorry I wasn't here 15 straight hours, nut a little exercise keeps the blood flowing.
You're a champ, EE.
Bye all, thanks for the fun.
Sure email it on.
Okay. thanks for the fun day!
No, thank YOU.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you, K.
Thanks, EE!
As a footnote: I suppose I coulda won if I'd called the dog Passive Aggressive Sonofabitch.
Grisham?
oh the humanity.
oh my stars, that lawsuit was hilarious. EE, surely you think Miss J deserves that money for covering your butt. ahem, er debt.
grats k!
Congrats, K!
(Robin goes off, mumbling...Stelllllaaaaa!)
Congrats, Kiersten!!!
Thanks! What a great night.
Grisham? I was gonna guess Kip.
No, no reason.
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