Tuesday, March 17, 2009

And the Winners Are...

THANK YOU to everyone who spent time with us today!! Thank you to the editors who helped us to understand what makes a pitch stand out. There were so many fantastic pitches, it was truly a pleasure reading through them all!


Without further ado, we're go ahead and post the pitches that the editors selected. Not all are in yet, so stay tuned!!!


Special acknowledgement to Ello, who probably caused the most snort laughs with her Ode to Luck:


Luck is a hard assed bitch. Fickle too. Sometimes she teases you like the whore she is. Other times she leaves you high and dry, with your pants down around your ankles and no toilet paper. I've been chasing the hussy for years now, at every tournament, at every casino. I've gotten so close, I could feel her gold plated, diamond encrusted hair slip through my fingers. She mocks me. But no longer. This time, I’m gonna kill the bitch.


Editorial Anonymous:

Embee's “Holly Bailey” pitch

There are two things Holly Bailey has never known: Her father, and a sense of belonging. Holly’s only chance to learn her father’s true identity is her estranged and slightly daft grandmother, who tells her a ridiculous faery story that only leaves her frustrated. But Holly soon learns that the story isn’t so silly after all, and suddenly finds herself journeying through an ancient realm and back again searching for her father, herself, and a place to belong. (Embee)

Children's Book Author’s “doll hospital” pitch

Beatrice was a lucky girl. In 1905her dad owned the first doll hospital in New York. She learned how to fix and make dolls. Little did she know that during World War I, her family's luck would run out and threaten to close the doll hospital. That’s when Beatrice made Red Cross nurse dolls and save the family business. Later she changed her name to Madame Alexander and started the most famous doll company in the world. (Children’s Book Author)


Lindsey’s “Secrets” pitch

After catching an epic wave and accidentally exposing her right “tah-tah” to the San Diego locals, GRACE Parker is relieved her best friend FORD thinks she’s “perky.” Grace avoids a roller coaster home life by surfing, focusing on school, and hanging out with Ford. Her friendship with Ford blossoms into love, and he becomes her Spanish knight in rusted Chevy. Through his love, Grace makes a choice that will change her life. (Lindsey)
**********


Moonrat


Phoenix:

When theologian Pierre Abelard and his gifted student Heloise fall in love, they're certain God approves -- until Heloise's jealous uncle and Abelard's ecclesiastic rival intervene.

Hounded, castrated, and denounced a heretic, Abelard seeks exile as a monk. Heloise, pregnant and unrepentant, takes the veil. Forced apart by circumstance, kept apart by God, they bare their shameless desire in letters that will echo for a thousand years. But how long can their star-crossed love survive?(Phoenix)

vote for Phoenix for adult--I actually want this book. Ha!


Sarah Laurenson:

Curses are for princesses in books, not twelve-year-olds in Cranford, NJ. In THIRTEEN BLACK CATS UNDER A LADDER, Sasha inherits her brother’s curse and the cure he never figured out. She has to step on a crack, find a black cat, walk under a ladder, break a mirror, open an umbrella indoors and spill salt – in the right order, before she turns thirteen or her party will be a catastrophe and she’ll break a leg. (Sarah Laurenson)

For YA, I vote for Sarah Laurenson. She better actually write this book now!


Pink Ink:

When her lover does nothing to stop a rebellion against her father, an 18th-century Philippine princess flees into exile. Juzliza forges a new life and even finds a new love. Then the Spanish-colonial government imprisons her father for treason, so she sails south to negotiate his release. Her mission turns awry, but success is still possible…with her former lover’s help. Dare she trust him? Will fortune smile upon Juzliza as she confronts her past? (Pink Ink)

And if there's an honorable mention, I would have LOVED to see Pink Ink's book, but her pitch was a little disorganized, with too much information. I think in part this might be a 75-word problem.
**********

Evil Editor:

Mrs. Cleary

Mrs. Cleary always had an awful time keeping the birds away from her garden. But when she woke up one morning to find all those nasty creatures in Mrs. Krate’s garden, pecking on the dead body of Mr. Krates, she knew she’d have to break open her new stationery. The box of Thank You notes with fancy gold leaf lettering and pastel colors. Then she’d help Mrs. Krate dig a hole. In her garden, certainly.(Mrs.Cleary)

[I would prefer this if it simply read: Mrs. Cleary always had an awful time keeping the birds away from her garden--until the morning she awoke to find all those nasty creatures in Mrs. Krate’s garden, pecking on the dead body of Mr. Krate. (Not Krates). The rest is intriguing, but it's intriguing enough without the mystery of how stationery is connected. Explain or delete.]


Lyncee:

The luck of the Irish….that is what it will take for Maggie and Sean to survive the next forty-eight hours. A plan worked out to the smallest detail hits a major pot hole when they are discovered breaking into the offices of a local mob boss. On the run they must dodge bullets, avoid cops, and control an attraction to each other that may prove more deadly than those chasing them. All for little Sweet Revenge.(Lyncee)

[This I would change to: The luck of the Irish….that is what it will take for Maggie and Sean to survive the next forty-eight hours. Their plan to get revenge on Meadow Soprano for stealing their lunch money hits a major pot hole when they are discovered breaking into the offices of a local mob boss. On the run they must dodge bullets, avoid cops, and control an attraction to each other that may prove more deadly than those chasing them. This tells us what's going on as soon as the "plan" is mentioned.]

Phoenix:

When theologian Pierre Abelard and his gifted student Heloise fall in love, they're certain God approves -- until Heloise's jealous uncle and Abelard's ecclesiastic rival intervene.

Hounded, castrated, and denounced a heretic, Abelard seeks exile as a monk. Heloise, pregnant and unrepentant, takes the veil. Forced apart by circumstance, kept apart by God, they bare their shameless desire in letters that will echo for a thousand years. But how long can their star-crossed love survive?(Phoenix)


[I'd just drop the last sentence from this one. I'm not sure what it means, and the previous sentence is a better wrap-up.]
**********


Edittorrent:

1) Drew is “just a girl,” at least that’s how her new dark-elf boyfriend describes her to his family. And she’s never felt that more profoundly than at Wylde Lake summer camp, where all of the fairies and monsters are waking up in the surrounding forest and coming after Drew...who is just a girl, and, incidentally, the girl an ancient prophecy says will stop the darkness from taking over the Fae by sacrificing herself to the light. Lucky her... (Heather)


2) A curse forces Lexi to spend every night swimming. Her body craves the water, demands the water, until she can’t say no. At dawn she returns to school, where she’ll sit in class and wait for dusk. But she’s not just a mermaid-she’s a siren, and her songs are also a deadly lure. Soon a new boy discovers her lake, and Lexi must choose between agony outside the water—or falling in love. (Mandy Hubbard)

3) Mrs. Cleary always had an awful time keeping the birds away from her garden. But when she woke up one morning to find all those nasty creatures in Mrs. Krate’s garden, pecking on the dead body of Mr. Krates, she knew she’d have to break open her new stationery. The box of Thank You notes with fancy gold leaf lettering and pastel colors. Then she’d help Mrs. Krate dig a hole. In her garden, certainly. (Mrs. Cleary)




Again, Thank you to all!! Ms. Spitfire will return on Monday with her selections, and a detailed critique of why they worked! Do come back!

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yay and thanks EA! You've given me hope that at some point an agent might find my query decent and request a partial of Secrets.

:) Lindsey

Thanks to all the judges for hosting this shindig.

Josephine Damian said...

Thanks to everyone who gave me feedback - it helped me see where I need to clarify things.

Congrats to the winners.

DebraLSchubert said...

This exercise was great fun and educational to boot! Thanks for the opportunity to pitch and to the editors for their great advice.

Chris Eldin said...

Hi All!

This just in from Edittorrent, but I'm afraid I don't have time to do proper formatting at the moment. I'll post it here, then when I have a chance I'll put it on the front with the others...
Thanks!!!

:-)


1st - the one with the selkie girl who swims at night and goes to school during the day
2nd - Heather's fairies and monsters story.
3rd - Mrs. Cleary and the birds. Such a strong voice that it had to be a winner.

Shona Snowden said...

Great pitches! Thank you everyone, editors and writers alike.

Shona Snowden said...

LOL, the selkie one. Had to go back and check - it's actually a mermaid, but if anyone wants selkies, I've got a few of those...!

laughingwolf said...

nicely done, winners! :D

ColonelCrockett (Anton Taylor) said...

I wasn't around to answer the audience concerns that some editors brought up but I definitely enjoyed the experience.

All the editors gave great advice and I think there were a lot of good pitches! Congratulations to the winners and I'll be around in the future.

Don't be surprised if you see me making another pitch in the near future. ;)

Yat-Yee said...

This was the first time I've visited. Book Roasters: you've created an excellent community of generous people.

Enjoyed reading the pitches as well as the responses.

I'll be back!

Sarah Laurenson said...

Oh my! Thanks, Moonie!!

Um, I started it this morning...

Sarah Laurenson said...

And a huge Thank You to the Editors for giving their time and advice. This was an awesome party!

Anonymous said...

Donna Kennedy says, thanks for all the great pitches and responses. It was great practice. I'm just sorry mine was too late, at 6:28 p.m., to attract a response. I'll be faster next time!

Phoenix said...

Thanks to all the editors who took precious time to comment on the pitches. I know I learn something from every session like this, so positive or negative your words are always, always valuable!

Thanks to all the pitchers for putting work out there that we can all learn from!

Thanks to the Book Roast crew for hosting this grand party. I miss you guys! *sniff sniff*

Michelle H. said...

Congratulations everyone. Quite fun and interesting feedback!

Pink Ink said...

Thanks for hosting this pitch party, Chris! Amazing entries, guys. Congrats to all the winners. It was helpful to see what editors are looking for in pitches.

Thanks, Moonrat for the mention and for your feedback! This gives me the extra motivation I need to finish my revisions and rework my pitch!

Cat Moleski said...

Thank you so much for the opportunity to pitch. The comments and examples were so helpful.

Charles Gramlich said...

Excellent entries. Congrats to all the winners, and indeed everyone who put themselves out there to enter!

Anonymous said...

PJ O'Brien here.
Ah, it's the morning after and I feel a delightful glow. I so enjoyed writing that pitch and reading the others yesterday. What a great exercise. And thank you so very much to Book Roast and the editors for doing it.

Angela Russell said...

This was a great exercise and eye opener. I thought pitch=synopsis and wrote plot instead of character. And with such excellent winning examples, I can figure out what mine should be. Thank you so much to the hosts, the editors and all the comments and participants. What a great learning tool!

Ello said...

Hey I get a special acknowledgment! Woo hooo! Does that come with cash? ;o)

Btw - I read all the comments and they were great! The pitches and the commenting were a great learning experience. Thanks so much!!

Mandy Hubbard said...

Yay! So excited that my mermaid/siren tale was a winner. :-). What a fun exercise.

And Chris, i'm so pleased that it ranks high for you, too. :-). It's one I'm super passionate about, and paranormal normally isn't my thing!

Embee said...

This was very fun! And I'm humbled to be among the winners, especially considering it's the very first pitch I've ever written!!! I guess I'd better get to work and finish the novel, now! Everyone did an awesome job, I loved reading all the pitches. Thanks again!

Shona Snowden said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shona Snowden said...

Phoenix, you know where we are... And check the koala blog for a competition you might like!

CHILDREN'S BOOK AUTHOR, MEMBER of the SYDNEY TAYLOR BOOK AWARD COMMITTEE said...

Chris,

Thanks so much for being such a gracious host and contributing to the wonderful sense of community we have in the kidlit world!

Thanks to the editors for their feedback!

Barbara B

Anonymous said...

Thanks to the editors for thier effort. I learned alot. Now to figure it out.

Michelle