Thursday's Special Is...Vamped!

VAMPED by Lucienne Diver

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From “Valley Vamp Rules for Surviving Your Senior Prom” by fashionista Gina Covello

Do not get so loaded at the after prom party that you accidentally-on-purpose end up in the broom closet with the surprise hottie of the evening, say the class chess champ who’s somewhere lost his bottle-cap lenses and undergone an extreme makeover, especially if that makeover has anything to do with becoming one of the undead.

Gina Covella has a problem. Waking up a dead is just the beginning.
There's little she can't put up with for the sake of eternal youth and beauty. Blood-sucking and pointy stick phobias seem a small price to pay. But she draws the line when local vampire vixen Mellisande gets designs on her hot new boyfriend with his prophecied powers and hatches a plot to turn all of Gina’s fellow students into an undead army to be used to overthrow the vampire council.

Hey, if anyone's going to create an undead entourage, it should be Gina! Now she must unselfishly save her classmates from fashion disaster and her own fanged fate.



Excerpt for Vamped:

Gina Covello's “Valley Vamp Rules for Surviving Your Senior Prom” from the spring issue of Modern Goth Magazine:

1. Don’t go strapless. I don’t care how sexy you think it is, you’re going to spend half the night tugging your dress back into place. If by some miracle it’s tight enough to stay put, chances are you’ve got overhang. And let me just say for the record, “Ew.”


2. Do not get so loaded at the after-prom party that you accidentally-on-purpose end up in the broom closet with the surprise hottie of the evening—say the class chess champ who’s somewhere lost his Coke-bottle lenses and undergone an extreme makeover—especially if that makeover has anything to do with becoming one of the undead.


3. If because of said chess champ’s ridiculously irresistible vamp mojo you’re compelled to skip Rule #2, do not let your extremely jealous boyfriend—let’s call him "Chaz"—catch you.


4. Never get into a car, no matter how well the cherry red finish goes with your gown, with anyone who’s been drinking or just found you in a compromising position with the mother of all hickeys forming on your neck—just for example.


5. If you’ve ignored the previous rules—and I mean, seriously, give some thought to #1 (talk about wardrobe malfunction)—make sure you have a death plan. It’s kinda like an emergency plan, but, you know, for death. For example, make sure there’s absolutely nothing in your closet you wouldn’t be caught dead in, because it’s a freakin' guarantee that’s what they’ll dress you in for the viewing. You also may want to leave some kind of instructions behind about not being buried for four days—at which point you’re either risen or beyond caring—because digging yourself out of the ground, not to mention prying open the damned coffin, is hell on your manicure.


6. Now, chances are that in the midst of everything, Rule #5 never even popped up on your radar. I get that. So, you’re famished and filthy, but, hey, you’ve survived—better than a certain somebody’s cherry red convertible anyway. Now, to keep up that trend. Normally, I wouldn’t advocate going about in public without freshening up, but here’s a tip: blood is never fashion forward. Chances are as a newly risen vamp, you’re going to be a bit, um, indelicate in your feeding, so you may want to eat first, shop later.


7. Here’s where it gets dicey. Vamps have no reflection. Yeah, don’t even get me started. No way at all to fix your hair and make-up. Who wants to go through eternity a total shlub? I mean, what a cosmic joke, right? My recommendation: turn your own stylist, start an entourage, whatever it takes.


8. Okay, so you’re fed, you’re fab. Chances are your geek-boy sire is waiting in the wings somewhere expecting you to be his sex slave for all eternity. Girls, all I can say is I don’t care if the man is the second coming of Brad Pitt, you make him work for it. Begin as you mean to continue. You’re young, beautiful, and, as long as you avoid stakes and beheadings, immortal. The world is your oyster. Make him crack it open and set the pearls (preferably in platinum).

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Are you all ready to mix it up to win a free copy of VAMPED? The person who wins over Lucienne with the answer to this question gets eternal bragging rights:

In your opinion, what's the sexiest chess piece? If it became real, what would be its signature move?

Keep the party going!

Wednesday's Special Is...Lucienne Diver!

Welcome, Lucienne Diver, to the Book Roast!!

Over the course of her dynamic career Lucienne has sold over six hundred titles to every major publisher, and has built a client list of more than forty authors spanning the commercial fiction genres, primarily in the areas of fantasy, science fiction, romance, mystery, suspense and erotica.

That's all well and true, but what we really love about Lucienne is her hearty appetite for good humor. We also admire her ability to whip up beautiful jewelry in one hand while whipping up beautiful manuscripts in the other. Welcome, Lucienne!!

The Knight Agency website

Lucienne's blog

1) In addition to writing great query letters, what else bothers you about today’s aspiring writer? (This is inspired by Stephen Barbara's post on PW)

That there are so many of them! (Writers, not pet peeves.) We get something like 200 queries per month per agent. Reading through them really cuts down on my beach time.

Seriously? Authors who don't do their research or follow submission guidelines. Queriers who address me as "Mr." Diver or put down those who've rejected them previously as lacking vision. We're in publishing; we squint at tiny type all day. Mocking us for our corrective lenses isn't a bit nice.

2)What’s your favorite karaoke song?

Favorite karaoke song? You're kidding, right? Is there such a thing?

3)What’s your favorite snack?

The blood of innocents.

4)A haiku about adverbs, please:

With verbs needing help
Lolly got her adverbs here
At the Comp'ny Store

5)What is the daily price you must pay for being a hottie?

$49.95. I had a coupon.

6) If you were on a deserted island, what book would you most like to use as kindling?

Ooh, that's tough. On Walden Pond is too short for an extended burn.

7) One bottle of fine wine, or ten bottles of college stuff?

Can we compromise on two bottles of decent, but not really fine wine? I want it all. Quality and quantity.

8) Who is your favorite editor?

Is that the phone? Yes, I'm sure it is. Gotta run!

9)There’s a reason to be afraid of that closet. The one to your left, behind the pile of boxes. Go ahead. Open it. Show us what’s inside.

When I was a kid, I was convinced that aliens were waiting under my bed to grab my legs if I got up during the night. The grim reaper hid out in my closet. Frankenstein was waiting to chase me down the hall, Dracula was hiding behind the shower curtain and there was a hand in the toilet. So, if I was desperate, and only then, I'd leap out of bed, several feet out of reach of grasping alien hands; run down the hallway, because Frankenstein shambled; throw open the shower curtain to foil Dracula and then hover. The reaper in my closet was really kind of timid. He was always waiting until I fell back to sleep. Did I mention I didn't do much of that as a kid?

10) What are you reading at the moment?

The second pass edits on my own novel, VAMPED (think Clueless meets Buffy the Vampire Slayer), which is coming out in May! I'm doing the love/hate thing with it. Today I'm just hoping it doesn't suck…no pun intended.

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Please drop by and wave hi to Lucienne! Perhaps she'll give us tidbits about Vamped!! And if you have a query letter you've been circulating for years with no success, why don't you throw it up here? heheheheeh (That's a joke. DON'T do that!)

Welcome, everyone!

:-)