On April 23, 2006, an editor opened his blog with an existential question: Am I Evil?Not really bothering too much with any gray area between goodness and evil, he went on to say:
Tell me if this is evil. You spend two years creating your masterpiece, the great American novel. 600 pages of blood, sweat and tears. You package it up and ship it to Evil Editor with a self-addressed envelope. I remove it from its package, spend thirty seconds reading the first page, roll my eyes, and toss the manuscript onto a pile in the corner. Eight months later I e-mail you a rejection letter because I'm too lazy to walk out to my mailbox and mail you a hard copy. Besides, I can't mail you anything, because I long ago steamed the stamp off your self-addressed envelope and used it to send my 1st wife a letter explaining that she won't be getting any more child support because I blew all my spare cash paying my divorce lawyer to see that I got the Ferrari when my 2nd wife dumped me.
No doubt that's what all writers assume happens when they submit a manuscript. And for the most part, they're right. But occasionally editors have legitimate reasons for rejecting work. As a public service, I'm taking the liberty of publishing excerpts from actual query letters I've received, letters that would have made me cry, if I weren't too busy laughing.
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The wit, the sarcasm, the cruelty of EE have had the apparently unexpected result of spurring several minions on to actual publishing success. It appears that in place of doing evil, EE is actually doing good.
While he constantly denies this, the Book Roast team has discovered cracks in the veil of evil under which EE wants to live (notice masterful use of mixed metaphors. That's the kind of talent we have. That's the kind of talent that ensures we will never...sniff...)
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While he constantly denies this, the Book Roast team has discovered cracks in the veil of evil under which EE wants to live (notice masterful use of mixed metaphors. That's the kind of talent we have. That's the kind of talent that ensures we will never...sniff...)
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What kind of pet should EE have as a mascot for his evil? We've provided a few options below. Or, do you think in the photo he sent, he's squishing the puppy in an effort to further prove his evil?
Let's discuss.....puppies, pets, the nature of evil, clipart, books, and the real name of EE's dog...
***** PRIZE: $25.00 Amazon gift certificate to the first person who correctly guesses the name of EE's real life dog*****
We at the Book Roast would like to thank EE for his support of our blog. As an unsung hero, he helped with some of the behind-the-scenes artistry of the Book Roast blog. Thank you!
If you'd like to visit EE and/or put your writing up for ridicule, click here.
*Disclaimers:
Only one puppy was harmed in the making of this post. Don't try this at home. Thirty-day money back guarantee. Do not mix alchohol with medication (oh wait, that's a different editor). If EE doesn't wish to disclose the real name of his dog, the winner will be the one with the funniest name.
